The Funny Pages…

Silly Putty, Eileen

Silly Putty, Eileen (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

(by Rob Writer)

Remember “Silly Putty?” My generation, (a bit over 30, 40,…), used to be entertained for hours with it.

Well it was the comics section from the Sunday newspaper that gave me the most fun. Pressing the silly putty over an image and then stretching and pulling it into contorted images. Great fun. Aw, it was just a simpler time then.

Anyway, here are some “haha’s” to help you crack a smile today. Enjoy!

1. “He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.”

2. “Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.”

3. “A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory.”

4. “Why do we choose from two people for President, but 50 ladies for Miss America?”

5. “You don’t need a parachute to skydive. You only need one if you want to do it again.”

6. “We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.”

7. “Hospitality: Making people feel at home when you wish they really were.”

8. “When in doubt, mumble.”

9. “My opinions may change, but the fact that I’m always right does not.”

10. “Funny, I scream the same whether I see a shark or a piece of seaweed touches my foot.”

11. “Men hit harder, but women hit lower.”

12. “Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.”

13. “Good thing the world sucks. If it didn’t we’d all fall off.”

14. “Don’t hit somebody with glasses…use a baseball bat instead.”

15. “Work just fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”

16. “Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.”

17. “We may be born free, but we’re taxed to death.”

18. “Parachute for sale. Used just once, never opened.”

19. “Which one if faster, hot or cold? Hot of course, because you can catch a cold.”

20. “When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.”

Many thanks! Have a great day…