6 Reasons To “Call It Quits”…

Pregnant  woman with money. Family budget.

Unhappy woman (Photo credit: SalFalko)

I don’t know of anyone who has not faced this situation in their life…

 The breakup of a marriage or dating relationship is usually miserable no matter which part you play; the “breaker” or the “breakee!” Even if a person can’t wait to get away from someone, there can be some moments of sorrow, either for yourself or for the feelings of the other person.

Oddly enough, some couples can’t (or don’t want to) see that things are over between them. There can be various reasons for this, but we won’t go into them here.

What we will be looking at, however, are some of the signs that a relationship is either dead, or well on its way to dying. I’ve enlisted the help of “livenlearn87.hubpages.com” to give us some indicators that a love has pretty much “flat-lined.” Let’s take a look:

1. You Fight More Than Ever. 

Remember when things were “light and delightful” between you? Nice, huh. However, there can come a day when all of those feelings have vanished, and in their place is a lot of garbage, stress, and angry words. Sometimes a couple may decide to talk it out or seek counseling. It may or may not help, but usually if arguing is the “rule of the day,” you might just consider moving on.

2. One Or Both People Won’t Compromise.

No relationship works without some flexibility on the part of both people. If things have gotten to the point where compromise isn’t in your “couples dictionary,” and discussions lead nowhere, it may be time to get out. Who needs the stress?

3. You Wish You Could Change The Other Person.

A loving, workable relationship usually results in a growing appreciation of who your partner is and what qualities they possess. When you spend more time looking on the shortcomings and faults of your mate, the red flags are up for sure! Even if the two of you were once compatible, sadly people grow apart. However, when they do, that is usually the result of neglect along the way. This sign says it’s time to “repair or replace.” 

4. You Don’t Feel Respected or Appreciated Anymore.

This one really stings. Other than the hurt of cheating, feeling “worthless” in the sight of your partner gnaws at your very self-esteem. What’s more, the longer this feeling is allowed to go on, the worse it can become. Only you can decide how much more to take in a case like this. But if you can’t see things changing for the better, you deserve to free yourself from serious potential damage.

5. Your Lover Has Been Unfaithful.

As we mentioned in #4, this act is usually in the top two or three worst things one person can do to another. In most cases, when someone seeks out a person other than you for attention or affection, it’s a sure sign that something has gone way wrong in your relationship. Sometimes, people try to repair this kind of injury and are successful. More often, however, even if the two of you work through it, the incident will always loom somewhere in the background. 

6. You Have Been Abused.

No matter the kind of abuse, (i.e. physical, verbal, etc.), this is a most concerning and dangerous matter to contend with! Yet the offended person may stay in the relationship for one reason or another! However, understand this much: The chances of further abuse are just around the corner. According to “Wikianswers.com,” it is likely that even if an abuser stops one kind of assault, they find another form of revile to take its place. It is probably best to get away from this relationship altogether!

Of course, even if you find one or more of these things in your relationship, you can always decide to try to work through problems. But unless there was an overall quality in the union at some point, successful reconciliation is not likely. The chance of any kind of lasting “fix” may already be gone according to the experts.

Only you can decide what to do. But the experts state with a good bit of certainty that any or all of the above conditions signal that the end of a relationship has already arrived. Just be honest with yourself when assessing your romantic circumstances…

How Men Ruin Relationships…

Nice Young Couple

Nice Young Couple (Photo credit: Tobyotter)

(by Rob Writer)

Let’s face it, men just seem to have a knack for blowing up relationships. Despite how much we care about finding a “good thing,” guys have more trouble than women at sustaining a romance.

This just begs one simple question: Why?

Well, in looking into this puzzlement, the people at “mybrotha.com” have come up with a few reasons for men to consider…

1.  Giving Her Too Much “Power.”

Some guys just believe that the way to keep a lady happy is to let her call all the shots. WRONG! Most ladies don’t want a namby-pamby guy who can’t or won’t make decisions or take a stand. To ask her to pick everything you do or every place you go can eventually lead to  couple of bad things. One, she could grow tired of having to plan everything, or two, she may start feeling you are not interested enough to care what you do. Try to make the power ratio more a 50/50 proposition.

2. Taking Complete Control.

This is just the opposite of #1, but can work just as well to mess up a relationship. Some men just try to control everything about the relationship leaving little or no room for the lady’s input. Again…WRONG! Most women don’t like the “caveman” approach, they want a partner to share things with, not a boss to “lord over them.” Such a man is usually a bit insecure and possible the jealous type, and who wants that? remember, strive for a 50/50 control balance.

3. One Nice Gesture Doesn’t Last Forever. 

This is huge. Almost every guy is guilty of this kind of thinking. We buy them flowers…once. We take them to a play and dinner…once. Afterward, we think to ourselves ‘okay, that ought to hold them for a while.’ Once again…WRONG! A woman wants regular attention, and it doesn’t have to be something on a grand scale. Send her a “love-text” every couple of days, or pick a single rose from the garden and surprise her with it. Those “just because” thoughts cost little or nothing, but go so far with a true lady.

4. Be a “self-improver.”

Many times, in addition to letting things slide in a partnership, men have a tendency to slack off where they are concerned. We find a nice lady and then allow ourselves to settle in right there, becoming complacent in life. Gals like an ambitious guy who wants improvement, not just for their relationship, but for himself as well. Ladies are “future thinking” creatures and respect a man who has that same kind of mindset.

5. Looking At Just Her “Looks.”

Okay, guys will to some extent always want a lady because of their physical attractiveness. Science suggests this is just how guys are “wired.” However, it shouldn’t be the prevailing factor in how we choose our mate. It’s important to also consider such things as her compassion, interests, and general compatibility as much as her looks. Otherwise, it is likely the relationship will eventually fall apart.

6. Placing Other People Or Things Before Her.

This is a real problem for some guys. I believe men are just more “self-pleasing” than women. By that I mean our relationship is just “one of the things” in our lives, but not necessarily the main interest we have. Hey, there’s stuff like sports, time with the guys, our jobs, etc. While there’s nothing wrong with other interests, don’t allow them to take “first place” away from your ladylove! Also, understand she will have other pursuits too, so be ready to accept that as well.

7. Giving In To Temptation With Another Woman.

Want a quick and surefire “kick to the curb?” Cheating usually will always do the job! Again, men seem to stray more often and more quickly than a women. Perhaps it has to do with allowing ourselves to “appreciate” that female physique. But know this: it’s a slap in the face to your partner, and shows her great disrespect! She isn’t dumb either, she probably knows that you will be “looking” at times, although it isn’t recommended. A wandering eye can lead a guy into temptation, and that can be a very dangerous place to go for men!

No doubt, there are some women who practice the “ruin” game too; the sword cuts both ways! But more often than not, these seven points are “guy stuff,” and have to be looked after in order to give your relationship the best chance to survive and grow…

~Rob