How Men Ruin Relationships…


Nice Young Couple

Nice Young Couple (Photo credit: Tobyotter)

(by Rob Writer)

Let’s face it, men just seem to have a knack for blowing up relationships. Despite how much we care about finding a “good thing,” guys have more trouble than women at sustaining a romance.

This just begs one simple question: Why?

Well, in looking into this puzzlement, the people at “mybrotha.com” have come up with a few reasons for men to consider…

1.  Giving Her Too Much “Power.”

Some guys just believe that the way to keep a lady happy is to let her call all the shots. WRONG! Most ladies don’t want a namby-pamby guy who can’t or won’t make decisions or take a stand. To ask her to pick everything you do or every place you go can eventually lead to  couple of bad things. One, she could grow tired of having to plan everything, or two, she may start feeling you are not interested enough to care what you do. Try to make the power ratio more a 50/50 proposition.

2. Taking Complete Control.

This is just the opposite of #1, but can work just as well to mess up a relationship. Some men just try to control everything about the relationship leaving little or no room for the lady’s input. Again…WRONG! Most women don’t like the “caveman” approach, they want a partner to share things with, not a boss to “lord over them.” Such a man is usually a bit insecure and possible the jealous type, and who wants that? remember, strive for a 50/50 control balance.

3. One Nice Gesture Doesn’t Last Forever. 

This is huge. Almost every guy is guilty of this kind of thinking. We buy them flowers…once. We take them to a play and dinner…once. Afterward, we think to ourselves ‘okay, that ought to hold them for a while.’ Once again…WRONG! A woman wants regular attention, and it doesn’t have to be something on a grand scale. Send her a “love-text” every couple of days, or pick a single rose from the garden and surprise her with it. Those “just because” thoughts cost little or nothing, but go so far with a true lady.

4. Be a “self-improver.”

Many times, in addition to letting things slide in a partnership, men have a tendency to slack off where they are concerned. We find a nice lady and then allow ourselves to settle in right there, becoming complacent in life. Gals like an ambitious guy who wants improvement, not just for their relationship, but for himself as well. Ladies are “future thinking” creatures and respect a man who has that same kind of mindset.

5. Looking At Just Her “Looks.”

Okay, guys will to some extent always want a lady because of their physical attractiveness. Science suggests this is just how guys are “wired.” However, it shouldn’t be the prevailing factor in how we choose our mate. It’s important to also consider such things as her compassion, interests, and general compatibility as much as her looks. Otherwise, it is likely the relationship will eventually fall apart.

6. Placing Other People Or Things Before Her.

This is a real problem for some guys. I believe men are just more “self-pleasing” than women. By that I mean our relationship is just “one of the things” in our lives, but not necessarily the main interest we have. Hey, there’s stuff like sports, time with the guys, our jobs, etc. While there’s nothing wrong with other interests, don’t allow them to take “first place” away from your ladylove! Also, understand she will have other pursuits too, so be ready to accept that as well.

7. Giving In To Temptation With Another Woman.

Want a quick and surefire “kick to the curb?” Cheating usually will always do the job! Again, men seem to stray more often and more quickly than a women. Perhaps it has to do with allowing ourselves to “appreciate” that female physique. But know this: it’s a slap in the face to your partner, and shows her great disrespect! She isn’t dumb either, she probably knows that you will be “looking” at times, although it isn’t recommended. A wandering eye can lead a guy into temptation, and that can be a very dangerous place to go for men!

No doubt, there are some women who practice the “ruin” game too; the sword cuts both ways! But more often than not, these seven points are “guy stuff,” and have to be looked after in order to give your relationship the best chance to survive and grow…

~Rob

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10 thoughts on “How Men Ruin Relationships…

    • It’s hard to believe a lady like yourself hasn’t been offered marriage many times over! Maybe you have had offers, but you are being selective. Many people are waiting until later years to get married these days…

      You just be as sure as you can about the one you want to marry when that time comes!

      I really enjoy your visits and comments, Kavita!

      Take care,
      ~Rob 🙂

      • Thanks Rob….but you know what its not about the offers as you said more about the right person…sometimes you know it will not last long so there is no point of going down that path..and I think I do have my fare share of experience in this area 😉 and as of now I am waiting for Mr. Right so that I don’t have to change myself into someone else for him ….thanks for your reply dear

        • I have helped other friends and myself with the following plan for capturing a good person for a relationship or marriage: I write a vertical line down the middle of a legal-sized paper. On the left I write in detail all of the qualities the ideal person must have for me to consider him/her. On the right side are the items that would be nice to have but are not necessities. Once I am fully satisfied that the columns are complete, and I feel really good about what is on paper, I sign and date it for the date that person will enter my life, crumple up the paper and “waste” it by hiding it.

          Amazing how well this works! Behind it is a simple principle: making a postulate; bringing something into existence by mocking it up. The more complete the postulate in detail the more the person is “created” and the sooner he/she will appear.

          Once written, just go about your life and live with your “eyes” wide open, so you will recognize the person when he/she appears.

  1. Wholly true, those reasons. There there is the notion of love encounters: the platonic, the “friend with rights,” the “looking for Mr. Goodbar” syndrome (sex cuts bot hways) and at last, the deja vu or spiritual connection). My latest novel explores this area through the eyes of my character, Richard Anyman, “Anyman Dreams of Love Everlasting.”

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